Keep in mind what is most important

Every woman and a lot of men dream about their wedding day from the first time they understand what a wedding is. It is easy to get so wrapped up in the commercial side of a wedding that you lose focus on what is important. Here are a few things I’ve learned either from my own personal experience or from working with bridezillas when in the hotel business.

Put the MARRIAGE first and the wedding second.

What does that mean? Make sure the person you are going to say I-Do to is the person you truly want to spend the rest of your life with. If you can’t picture yourself willing to wipe his/her butt for the rest of your life (or vice versa), that person just may not be the right one for you. Seriously, having an invalid spouse is a very real possibility at some point. It could be when you are both in your 90s or it could be two weeks after you are wed and one of you gets terribly injured in a car accident.

Another note about putting the MARRIAGE first since it is truly the most important thing to remember: The marriage is for a lifetime but the wedding is for a few hours.

It won’t matter what your flowers looked like if you marry the wrong person and end up divorced.

Make sure you are equally yoked (2 Corin 6:14). I was the catering manager and by default the wedding coordinator for a couple that seemed very sweet until their rehearsal dinner. The night before her wedding the bride who was Baptist realized that her wedding to her Jewish fiancé was not going to be as she had dreamed. His family had certain religious customs that she was less than excited about including that his parents would walk him down the aisle. Personally I have to wonder how the marriage worked out considering they did not have a shared faith.

If your family has limited means, don’t expect your parents to fork out $50k for your “dream” wedding just so you can be talked about favorably for a day like your friend Susan was. Try to be practical and give a little on the things that really matter. A good friend of mine told me just today that her granddaughter has a cake that she just HAS to have. It costs $1500 and the family is a traditional, hard-working family. I’ve tasted many expensive wedding cakes from renowned pastry chefs and find the ones offered by Publix grocery store’s bakery to just as pretty and a heck of a lot fresher tasting for about a fourth of the price. When you are planning your wedding, don’t put yourself so much in the poor house from the wedding and reception that you can’t afford to take a nice honeymoon to celebrate your nuptials. An even better use of the “saved” money is the down payment on a house within a few years of marriage.

Don’t get married for the wrong reasons. I got married at age 20 because I had been dating the guy for 5 years and decided that was the next logical step. He had cheated on me before but always had a good excuse as to why I was just being crazy when I accused him later in the relationship of cheating. Once a cheat, always a cheat. I’ve heard it a million times but wouldn’t believe it. It is true. Also, you can’t change a person. If you have to change them, you’ve got the wrong person so keep looking. Even if you are already engaged, your family will understand. If you are concerned about making him mad at you, imagine how mad he will be when you divorce him.

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